Marriage, Teenagers, and the Myth of Balance

People love to talk about “work-life balance” like it’s some zen state you can achieve if you just download the right app or light enough candles. Newsflash: balance is a myth. Especially when you’ve been married for 20 years, have two teenagers, two dogs, a career that doesn’t clock out, and a climbing habit that eats weekends.

It’s not balance. It’s prioritization. And sometimes prioritization looks like triage.

The Marriage Math

Marriage is not 50/50. That’s a Hallmark card lie. Some days it’s 90/10 — one of us is carrying the weight while the other is fried. Then it flips. Longevity in marriage isn’t about “balance.” It’s about trading off, handing the rope back and forth, and knowing the other person won’t drop it.

I’ve been married two decades. That doesn’t make me a guru — it just means we’ve survived career changes, parenting chaos, and all the everyday battles couples don’t post on Instagram. What holds it together isn’t balance. It’s grit, humor, and the occasional “sorry” muttered at 11 p.m.

Teenagers: The Wild Card

My kids are 12 and 14. Translation: I’m a full-time Uber driver, unpaid therapist, and reluctant snack supplier. Teenagers don’t care about your “balance.” They care about Wi-Fi speed, snacks, and whether you’re embarrassing them in public.

And that’s okay. My job isn’t to balance their moods with my deadlines. It’s to show up. Some days I nail it. Some days I miss the mark. But showing up matters more than balance ever could.

The Climb Parallel

Climbers talk about “finding balance” on the wall. But here’s the thing: balance is temporary. You shift, you readjust, you fight for position. There’s no magical hold where everything evens out forever. That’s life with marriage and teenagers.

You don’t balance it. You adapt to it. You reposition, you weight one side heavier than the other, and you keep moving.

Dogs Don’t Care

Two dogs. Zero interest in my deadlines. No patience for “I had a long day.” They’re the reminder that sometimes balance is overrated — what you need is presence. A walk, a belly rub, or just sitting on the floor while they lean into you. Dogs don’t do balance. They do loyalty. And they remind me to keep it simple.

Closing Truth

So yeah, marriage, teenagers, and dogs don’t fit neatly into a work-life balance equation. Neither does a career or a climbing schedule. Balance is a marketing gimmick.

What works? Priorities. Trade-offs. A long marriage built on trust. Parenting that’s messy but present. Climbing that humbles you just enough to keep perspective.

Forget balance. Focus on what matters in the moment. That’s how you don’t fall.

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